Think Forward, Look back, Act now.

People are reactionary.
Human beings very seldom take drastic action apart from some action or initiating force that they respond to. This fact is present in most areas of life. We get angry because something happens to us that causes a negative reaction. We take action in defense of life in reaction to abortion. We go to war against terrorism when our country is attacked. We come to the altar when we hear a truth that convicts us. We take drastic religious action, positive or negative, because we are reacting to the message we hear, see, and experience.
People are reactionary.
The giant issue with reactionary thinking is that reaction is almost instant, generally poorly thought out, and directly related to whatever we are reacting to. For instance, someone bumps into me on purpose and doesn't apologize, I instantly get offended and ask for an apology which they do not give. When I do not receive an apology I feel attacked push them back without thinking about what would be best for everyone involved, in the end I wind up getting put in the hospital because I pushed a martial artist simply because he bumped me and didn't apologize. My reaction started instantly with being offended which led me to act offensively without thinking the entire situation through, and my action was solely based on the initiating action of the "bumper."
This is a hypothetical situation but I believe it  embodies many of the interactions we have on a regular basis and more importantly I think it embodies the way people throughout history, and in the church specifically have interacted.

If we look throughout the history of the church generally what we will see is a reactionary pendulum that is swinging back and forth with every great change that has taken place in the church. The most obvious example of this pendulum is the reformation. During this time in church history change needed to take place. Change was necessary. But what we see in the history books is that instead of taking slow calculated action to bring about constructive change we reacted to the wrong we saw and tore the whole building down instead of filtering through the structure to find what was sound.

In more recent history we can see reactions from Boomers to millennials in the church, from modernists to post-modernists, from traditional to contemporary to whatever we would call the current popular church genre. Each new generation looks back before us at something that was done wrong and we react to it. In this drastic reaction we instantly act, without thinking it through well, and we act based solely on the item causing the reaction. And when we react instead of act we always swing to the other side on our pendulum and set the next generation up to do the same thing to us.

These are my questions in all of this: Where are we swinging to?  What are we reacting to instead of acting on? What are we setting up the next generation to react to? and How can we lead in a way that allows the next generation to build on what we have done instead of tear down what we created?

Whenever God interacted with the Israelites in the Old Testament He was proactive and not reactive. When His people would sin against Him and forget all that he had done he acted based on His prior covenants that told clearly of the punishment for such actions, He acted based on His character and for His glory, and He acted on behalf of the generations to come. God never wiped out Israel, He brought punishment and necessary change so that the next generation could have a foundation to build on and return to Him. He was acting now based on the past for the future.

As leaders we must be forward thinking. When we loose sight of where we are going we become stagnant, but we must also look back. When we bring about change we must look back and ask if we are reacting to something we didn't like or acting to build on a foundation. Are we throwing out years of truth because of one severe wrong that we see? When we create models, lead people, build structures, and whatever else we do we must do so knowing that change will come. We must lay a foundation that the next generation can work with instead of building a structure they will just have to tear down.
Finally, we must act now. The beautiful thing about church history is that no mistake anyone has ever made has messed up God's plan or blessing on the church. He still uses us even when we don't get it right. For all the times we have had to tear down and rebuild God still has His hand on us and He still chooses us. The worst thing we can do is nothing.

First Step to Leading Change

Change is one of the hardest things to lead or be a part of in ministry. People, on the whole, don't really like change at all. We all get set in routines and blocked in to the way things always are and when something gets in the way of that routine it messes everything up.
I think that potentially the reason we dislike change so much is that it is virtually impossible to just make a small change, or for a change to just affect one area of life. We change what time we get up which changes how quickly we have to shower which changes how late we are to work which changes the mood our boss is in all day which changes the mood we are in when we get home to relax and spend time with family which changes the time we go to bed that night.
Even little changes seem to have drastic effects on life, so it makes sense that people would not be too excited about change, especially if they don't have a say in what it is that changes.

It seems that there is a deeper issue embedded in the hearts of people than simply a dislike for changing.

There is something inside of us that causes us to balk at the idea of having the routine broken and the normality upset.We see this illustrated beautifully in the story of the rich young ruler. A young eager man runs up to Jesus asking him what it is that he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus responds with an answer the man would have been thrilled to hear. "You know the commandments, follow them!". That was nothing new. He had being doing that since he was a boy, he probably did that out of habit and knew the laws inside and out. Jesus next words would have been crushing. "Then sell all you have, give the money to poor, and follow me."

Jesus did not ask him to do some extreme act of penance.  That would not have been all that out of the ordinary. He did not tell him to simply donate a large amount of money to the poor, it could be expected that this man gave regularly of his possessions. He told him to sell all that owned and follow. That is the key. This was not just a man who owned many things, this was a man who owned much land. The word translated as possessions or properties (ktema) is directly defined as property, lands, or estates. Jesus was asking him to give up his normality, the place and things that made him comfortable, to follow someone that was unpredictable.

It seems that the root of issue of change is not helping people accept a new idea, but guiding people in a lifestyle of constant change. Guiding people in a lifestyle that holds loosely to the things that make us comfortable and tightly to He that makes us righteous.

As pastors and leaders we must understand that it is not simply carnality that holds people back it is fear. It is not malicious intent that causes some to undermine and some to refuse to budge, it is a brokenness that is found in all of us manifested in the desire to be in control and the refusal to step into the unknown. Those that are complacent and hypocritical are just as loved and are offered the same grace by Christ as those that the complacent are judging and the hypocritical are condemning. We must also understand that we are just as likely to refuse change as they are. When we hold so tightly to our new plans and visionary goals that we cannot follow an unpredictable Savior down an unknown path we embody the mindset of the rich young ruler. We have many possessions that make us comfortable, and we rely on them.

The story of the rich young ruler ends with Jesus explaining how hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom. I wonder if he was referring less to those physically rich and more to those who's hearts say "I am rich and in need of nothing." We who spiritually refuse let go of control and follow the unpredictable, yet completely trustworthy, Savior.

The first step to leading change is living a lifestyle of change. Living a lifestyle that only holds tightly to one thing, and that is Christ. The steps that follow are the steps of the Savior.

And the only thing harder than leading change is following something that is changing. 

Identity

We live in a world that is doing everything it can to define us. We are surrounded by things telling us who we are, what we do, and who we want to be. Whether it's a Nike add, a song on the radio, a movie, or any number of other things it is hard to go anywhere without being forced to question whether or not we are comfortable, confident, and content with who we are.
It's hard to be any of those things. It's really hard to be confident in the abilities I have been given when I have not and will not be able to do the things that I see around me bring happiness and honor.
It's hard to be comfortable with myself when my self doesn't look very much like his self and his self is the one everyone is talking about.
It's hard to be content. We are told that we should never be content with how we are because we could always be something better. We could do more. We could be more successful. We could be more athletic.
I could be a better teacher. I could have a bigger business. I could have a faster growing ministry. I could... I could... I could...
But every time I get anywhere I find out that I'm not quite where I could be, because I could still go even farther than I thought I should a few months ago.

The fact is I am told what I should be and could be, and create what and who I want to be, because I am not happy with who I was created to be.

In fact, I don't even know who I was created to be.

Because I barely know Him in whose image I was created.

In Genesis chapter 3 we find a chilling story that sets a trajectory for the rest of time and sets the foundation for this confusion that we continue to live in. Here we find the story of the very first sin, and the very first lie ever spoken to humanity. In this story Eve is not given a piece of fruit that pollutes her mind she is told that her identity is in question. Adam, beside her, hears the same lie, and so begins the downward spiral that is the fall of humanity. The first lie ever spoken was a lie of identity. The serpent told Adam and Eve that they could be something more than God created them to be.

And to this day that lie is seeping through the world around us blurring and distorting the grace of God and convincing us that we need to do more and be more and say more than we are now because we are not what we could be. When really the greatest we could ever be is nothing more than looking into the eyes of Jesus and accepting His redemption.

We are convinced, even as Christians, we are not good enough. We constantly falter between being incredibly unsatisfied with who we are and being incredibly arrogant with who we are. We seem to either be convinced that we are worthless and no one needs us, or that we are glorious and in need of nothing. Whichever place we fall in we must realize that what we need is to see God, because it is His image in which we were created and we will never know who we are and be confident in that until we know who He is and are confident in that.

We can be nothing more beautiful or powerful than who God created us to be. It is His image we bear and it is His glory we carry. Our identity is not wrapped in what we do, but in what was done for us, in the love of Christ.

The only way to find ourselves is to seek Jesus, and seek Him with all our hearts. What we find then will truly satisfy.

New Things

I love new things. New cars, new clothes, new music, new climbing gear, new anything. Even used things that are new to me. I even like things I just bought from goodwill that aren't anywhere near "new" they are just new to me. I love new things.
I think God loves new things too. He created a world brand new. He made a covenant, then He made a new covenant. He made people, and he made people who continually make new people. In fact He created a world that is continually creating and producing and changing and renewing. It seems that God finds beauty in new things. But I think there are things more beautiful to God than new things, and I think there are things that compel humanity to more awe and wonder than new things. I think the greatest beauty is found in renewed things, in redeemed things.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says that in Christ we are new creations. The old has gone. The new has come. It's beautiful. But it's not beautiful because a new thing is born, it's beautiful because something is being re-born. Something is being renewed.
There is little on earth that rivals the birth of a child, new life, except for the renewal of life. The only thing in life that is more beautiful than a child entering this world is a human entering new life.
The only thing that is more beautiful than a new place, is a renewed place.
The only thing more beautiful than a new anything, is the old one renewed.
There is something deep inside of every human that loves seeing something that is broken being fixed and renewed. As much as we love new things we long to see that which is already here become all it could ever be. In our hearts lies a dream of redemption, and it is a slight glimmer of the heart of God still found in us. Even in the depths of our fallenness we can see the image of God, and that is beautiful.

I'm about to start something new. I'm moving across the country to a new city and new church and new friends. But really I'm just in a renewal process that will continue as long as a live. God wants to renew things in this church and city, but he also wants to renew things in me.

I'm excited about new things, new horizons, but I'm more excited to see the remnants of the image of God being renewed in a church and in a people and in me. I'm going to a new place that has been there for a long time. We are just being made new.

The Old is Gone.
The New is come. 

Legacy

Tonight I cannot sleep.

I have laid in my bed trying to quiet my mind for the better part of an hour to no avail. My mind is racing with thoughts that have no point of rest.

Tonight I cannot sleep because I am in awe.

I am in awe of the legacy set before me.

I am a son. A man has gone before me, set a path before me, set a course for my life, and I will forever bear the marks of that path. No matter where I go or what I do that course that has been set for me will sway the direction of my life.

I am a grandson. A man has lived before me as an example and a rock. A man has lived a life ahead of me that has given me a bar to reach and a call to fulfill. A man has, by his very existence and dedication to what it is that he dedicated his life to, altered the way I see the world and the way I see myself.

My mind finally rests in the Old Testament, in the ancient Jewish culture where a father and a son where so close to the point of being one. Where the business of a father was to raise a son to continue that business, and the business of a son was to take on the business of a father. I wonder what it was like to be a son in those times. To look at your future and know it was set. To look ahead and know that what is ahead is bound in the past and released to the future to carry that which has passed on with you to greater heights. I wonder if that is my lot in life.

I was raised a pastor's son. My first memories are centered around the church. Salvation. Baptism. The church Christmas tree lot. The parsonage. Riding my bike to my daddy in the church parking lot. I was raised the son of a minister. I was raised in the church and since I can remember I have been commissioned to the church. It is my home.

I have spent my life under the guidance of a man with three goals, to Love the Lord his God, to love and lead his family in the ways of that God, and to be a shepherd to the people that God has called him to teach and guide. I have spent my life learning that my God is the conduit through which my life flows and that my life is meant to follow that flow wherever my God directs it, dedicating my life to the family that God has blessed me with and the calling that God has commissioned me to.

My mind comes to rest on the fact that I have been given a legacy to carry on. My grandfather, Rev. Clarence Williams, was picked up by the Lord from his drunken death bed to spread the gospel to every person he met, literally, for the rest of his life. He went from a song writer gone drunk to a pastor and shepherd who had a fire in his heart to win that lost that I have never seen matched. His dying wish was to see every member of his family accept Christ and hours before he died all five of the grandchildren that did not know Christ whispered into his ear that they had come to know Jesus. His dying breaths were spent passing on a legacy to preach gospel with every action, and his legacy was passed on to my father.

My father, Rev. Glenn Ward, was an angry fighter. He was a man who found his identity in a ring and the glory that came when the bell rang and the referee raised his hand. He was a man with enough hate in his heart for his own father to drive him to unspeakable things. He is a man who was raised by a drunkard who beat him and left him. He was a man that was hell bent on becoming exactly what he hated. But God, yet again, picked him up out that life style and placed him on a different path. God found him in a speed shop and turned him in to a new man. My father is now a pastor who has dedicated his life to forgiveness and love. Apart from forgiving the father that nearly killed him on multiple occasions, he has accepted the calling to pastor hurting churches. He is the pastor of what some have called the "man-eating" churches. The ones that have split, the ones that have been filled with division and carnality and need someone to mend wounds and bring peace. He has been given a ministry of reconstruction out of a life of destruction. My father has more grace and peace than any man I have ever met. I have watched him as he has pastored churches that couldn't afford to write his whole pay check. I have watched him pastor churches that have betrayed his trust and thrown his dedication back in his face. I have watched him accept the calling of God to the churches that few people see and even fewer people remember, the calling without glory or a big name. And I have watched him do this willingly with a heart of love and compassion that trusts God to meet his every need and cares for people that spit in his face. With his every breath he leaves for me a legacy.

I, Clifton J. Ward, have mad my own battles. I was on a path of sexual sin, wrapped up by my own desires, until God literally spoke into my mind that I had the choice to follow Him with my whole heart and life or to continue wasting my life in my own selfishness. I have dedicated my life to Christ and committed to him to follow in my father's footsteps as a pastor and shepherd. I am ready to pick up the legacy that is being handed to me and allow God to make me a man worthy to carry it.

Now, at two a.m. in my house in Indiana, I sit praying that somehow God will give me the grace to live up to that legacy. One more year stands between myself and a degree in ministry and a career as a pastor. But not even an hour sits between myself and the calling that has been set before my life. I think of Philippians 1:6 knowing that He not only began a good work in me, but began the good work long before I was born, and He will be faithful to complete it. I have been given a legacy and calling. The bar has been set before me and I have been challenged and commissioned to live up to that bar. I have been blessed to spend my life observing pastors that are incredible models and to spend my life learning at the side of the greatest pastor I have known. I have been blessed to have that pastor believe in me and believe in my calling to spend my life as shepherd, furthering the kingdom of God with every breath. I have been given a legacy, and I have been equipped to carry it on.

I am a grandson.

I am a son.

Someday I will be a father, and leave legacy for those who stand to carry it on.

I wonder what other Legacies have been left for us. Vocations? Passions? Hobbies? Callings? From fathers? From grandfathers? From mentors? From hero's that we have spent our lives watching? What legacy will we carry on? What legacy will our children receive?