Stereotypes and Grace

You never know how much you stereotype people until you try to buy a house and move your new wife to a new neighborhood. It's easy to think that I'm perfectly accepting until I have to leave my wife alone in that house for the two weeks I'm gone to youth camp, then it get's a little harder. All of a sudden everyone becomes a potential intruder, but especially people that fit certain stereotypes that I have fought my whole life to defeat.

It's very convicting.

It's very humbling.

It's very uncomfortable.

It makes me wonder how accepting I actually am.

It makes me wonder how accepting our churches really are.

Carl Lentz said that if you feel comfortable leaving your wallet unattended you're going to the wrong church. 

In my heart I agree. In my head I'm uncomfortable. 

I don't think I'm the only one who struggles through this. I don't think it does us any good to pretend like it's not there either.

It's not that any of us think that grace is only for certain people groups that we're comfortable with. It's just that many of us wish someone else would be called to extend grace to them.

We say amen when people quote Paul.

"I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. " - 1 Corinthians 9:22b

But we still reach for our wallets and hit the lock button a few extra times when we see certain people. 

I am convinced of one thing- God doesn't call us to be comfortable, he calls us to suck it up. 

The story of the good samaritan is the perfect example. The samaritan was in the wrong place, about to get jumped, and walked up to somebody who doesn't really want his help, but he stopped anyway. There is no way he didn't feel uncomfortable, but grace goes beyond comfort. 

Grace says "We're really different, lets be friends." Grace says "I'm nervous in this neighborhood, let's have a prayer walk." "Grace says they don't look like they belong here. I'll help them belong." 

Grace doesn't always say "I'll walk alone after dark in a sketchy part of town." Dumb says that. 

Grace says "I have been affected by the stereotypes, but I'm fighting my judgmental nature. I love people anyway." 

We don't need to be comfortable in every single place with every single person. We need to love them anyway. 

Fall Off the Log: 4 steps to dealing with controversy

This is not another post about Phil Robertson or A&E.

To be quite frank my opinion is irrelevant. I don't know all of the details, and my blog, twitter and Facebook will do nothing but boost my ego or loose me a friend if I write something controversial about this topic. Same goes for all of us.

What this entire situation does do is force us each to do a bit of self evaluation. This is a situation in which many of us will, as one of my favorite college professors would say, "fall off the log." We'll pick a side and then argue, debate, and likely complain for a good long time.

The issue is less about which side we take and

 more about how we take that side. 

I've said before, human beings are reactionary. We're emotional, and while emotion is wonderful, it get's us into trouble. We get offended and react instead of listening, pondering, accepting criticism, and then acting. We should remember those four things.

1. Listen: A friend in college once said "you only have the right to an opinion if it's educated." This statement has nothing to do with your degree of schooling, it has everything to do with your willingness to listen. Until we know both sides of the issue we shouldn't address it. Truth is not necessarily found in the facts of the situation, sometimes it is found in the perceptions, emotions, attitudes, and preconceived notions. 

2. Ponder: My biggest weakness, we should each think before we speak. A brand new idea is usually a bad one. -not because the idea is necessarily bad, but because the first words out of our mouths are not usually the ones we'll wind up going with. 

3. Accept Criticism: Before we start a campaign we should find a few trusted friends on each side of the issue and run it by them. Accept their criticism and grow from it. Allow them to help us learn how to disagree in a loving manner. 

4. Then Act: *And only if, after all that consideration, the action is still worth taking.* We need to be people who take thought out, calculated, prayed out, action. Emotionally reacting to something is like slamming the door on your mom when you're arguing. Whether you had a good point or not you're not going to win now. Because it was disrespectful. 

**While we're on the topic of disrespect, being disrespected does not give us the right to disrespect others. Yelling matches never solve anything. 

What has made this entire scandal so outrageous is not what Phil Robertson said and not what A&E did, it is how people have reacted. This situation would be much easier, and un-clutter my news feed, if we would listen in love instead of yell. (or thoroughly read and type in all caps since most of this has taken place on the internet.) 

We're going to fall off the log on lots of issues. Let's do it well. 

Two Factors of Identity Crisis

We live in a world that has set our youth and young adults up for confusion. 

Here's how:

1. American culture is largely based on success and accomplishment. Everything about our history and our values leads us to believe that we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make something great of ourselves. From George Washington to Jackie Robinson, our heroes, some underdogs- some just determined, are men and women who have pushed the idea of excellence to a new extreme. In the same way we have given accomplishment a very strict identity, a pay grade, and to some degree a body type. 

2. Our culture teaches students to "be who they really are." As we express to our children what matters by our culture, we tell them that they don't have to be great by anyone's standards but their own. We tell them that social norms and status quo's are meant to be broken and they can be anything they want to be. In other words we tell them that their accomplishment isn't what defines them. 

We have given young people a mixes message -a paradox- so it's no surprise that many of them (us) are confused. We tell them they can be anything, that they are perfect just the way they are, then they go to school and still get made fun of because they're not athletic or overly smart, or they still don't get recognition because they aren't pursuing normal standards of excellence. This leads young people to an inevitable identity crisis, where who they want to be and what they are expected to be collides. 

This is the crisis that youth and young adult workers find themselves dealing with on a daily basis. 

This is the reason so many teens don't know who they really are.

This is why identity in Christ is the most powerful message we can teach as Christian leaders. More than ever before our peers need to know who they are and what makes them valuable. They need to know they were made in the image of God, and the God in whose image they were made died because he thinks they are that valuable. 

Hide and Seek

One of the most beautiful stories in all of scripture is found in Genesis chapter 3. Here we find a story drenched in controversy and grace with a twist not even the most astute observer would predict.

To summarize Adam and Eve had it perfect, doubted who they were made to be, chose sin, and were about to get caught. Like any mature adult would do when they're about to get caught they hide. Which is a ridiculous idea in the first place because they hide from God. It seems like a lot of work for nothing to me. They sew together leaves to make clothing and hide in some bushes so the all powerful creator won't notice that anything's wrong.

When we consider the details of the story it's a pretty odd picture. It reminds me of kids playing hide and seek. We adults have very little imagination when it comes to playing games, but kids on the other hand take the most enjoyment in the imagination. They run around the yard pretending bushes are forests and blankets are deep caves and they bury themselves, convinced that they will never be found. It would be a boring game if our parents didn't play along. No kid would have fun if dad walked into the bedroom, saw the obvious child shape under the covers, and just pulled them out. No, even though Dad knows exactly where the child is hiding there is something powerful about the seeking.

That why the story in Genesis is so beautiful. God seeks his children. He didn't need to. He wasn't lost, and they certainly weren't fooling him with their pitiful disguises, but he sought them. He called out for them. God didn't rip away the covers to expose their shame, He called to them. He asked them to come out because His first concern was his children, not their punishment. He wanted to hear their voice, not just tell them what they had done wrong. Even in his justice his primary concern was relationship with His children.

God is still seeking us. We don't have to hide, our imaginary fortresses of pride and accomplishment aren't fooling anyone. God is seeking us.

Like 19:10 "For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost."

Forgettable Generation

The amount of articles one can find either defending or attacking the millennial generation is astounding. Whether it be sarcastic twenty somethings who are tired of being called lazy or abrasive 50 somethings who are tired of having basement dwellers, there are volatile voices pointing fingers back and forth.

It's getting old.

When you begin comparing scars between generations what you will find is that you've got a bunch of people who are all human. Each one with social, economic, and religious stressors that push in one direction or another. Each one no better or worse than the one before, and really not that different either. If the millennials were born in the 70's they would probably have experimented with psychedelic drugs, ruined the eco system, and tanked the economy. (because all of those things happen in one generation of course... oh wait) If the boomers were born in the 90's they would live in their parents basement and work part time at Starbucks.

Why? Because each generation does what normal humans do with the circumstances they are given. You can't blame some one for doing the best with what they have. This finger pointing is just proof that each generation is still very capable of pitching fits and tattling like children.

If there is one great danger the millennial generation is facing it is this: spending more time complaining about our world than  doing something about it. We're in danger of being entirely forgettable.

Myself and my peers love being "aware" of the need in the world. We love buying Toms and shopping at 10,000 Villages. We love knowing that our light roast single origin coffee was purchased sustainably from an environmentally friendly farm that helps orphans. To over simplify it's this: we love supporting other people's efforts to make the world a better place in a way that eases our conscience.

This leads us to use controversial hashtags, wear mildly offensive t-shirts that question the norm, and make a big deal online or at a rally about the problems we see. That is not a bad thing. In fact holy discontent is a good thing. As believers we should look at the world and be unhappy with the injustice that we see. Here's the caveat: We only have the right to complain if we're willing to do something about it.

It's not that we shouldn't spend our money through responsible organizations like Toms. It's that we shouldn't pass the responsibility for change off on other people by purchasing expensive shoes that make us feel like world changers. Buying Toms is great, but the shoemaker is bring about change by making the shoes, I'm just buying shoes.

We must each find our place in making a difference instead of wearing tshirts that quote Ghandi. We're in danger of being forgettable because we're in danger of not doing anything. It's time to do something. It's time to live our values instead of just buy them. If your passion is the environment, keep buying organic, but do more than buying food. If your passion is ending human trafficking, do more than wear the tshirt. If your passion is helping the hurting, then go physically help someone.

Changing the world is our responsibility, yours and mine. The Holy Spirit doesn't use people who don't do anything. 

Three things we need to know about the church

Church is a dirty word sometimes.

In fact there are many places in our culture where you could scream the f-word without a second glance and say "church" and get a dirty look. More interesting is that the reaction to "Jesus" and the reaction to the church would not necessarily be the same, proving the misconception that is engrained into our society.

Here are three facts that might help guide our understanding of what church truly is.

1. Church is Us: The church is not a building, the church is not an event, and the church is not an activity. The church is people who are in life changing relationships with Christ and with each other. Local churches are simply singular expressions of this over arching truth. A local church is a group of people in life changing relationships with Christ and each other who align with a certain calling and commit to accomplishing that in their community. There are many variations of local churches, because there are many types of people that need to be reached. Hate denominations? don't. They are proof that God is more concerned with reaching people from any walk of life than He is with all of us getting it right.
2. Church is Messy: Why? Because you and I are in it. Of coarse the church is full of hypocrites, fake people, and judgmental jerks. It's also full of addicts, pervs, bad parents, good people, and killers. That is not proof of it's irrelevancy, it is proof of God's overwhelming grace and free new beginnings.
3. Church is Essential: Because relationships are essential. God made Adam with everything he could ever want including personal, physical access to God, but he still said "it is not good for him to be alone." We need each other to learn, to remain accountable, to bear our burdens, I could go on. The easiest way to ensure that your faith won't last is to try to do it alone. But let this be noted- Sunday morning worship is an event, not church. It is an event that provides worship for a community, the gospel for those unreached, teaching for the body, and a catalyst of shared experience for deep relationships to be formed. Sunday morning (or whatever time your church meets as a large group) is essential as well, but Sunday morning doesn't cut it. Showing up on Sunday morning simply means that we attend a social event, not that we are part of the church. Life changing relationships are the point.

**Hanging out with Christians also does not constitute being part of a church. It  only means you spend time with people who are part of the global church. The local church is our lifeline. Hanging out with likeminded people is good, being a part of a gathering with a mission, well founded teaching, and empowering structure is necessary. This is why from the beginning there were men in charge of the giving; there was a council of leaders; Paul appointed pastors, apostles, teachers, and other roles; and guiding structure was put into place. The local church is a manifestation of the global church that empowers people with like callings to make maximum impact on their communities and the world. 

Value

Where we find value is the most influential aspect of our lives. 

Where we find value is the most observable aspect of our lives. 

Where we find value is the singular aspect of our lives that will attract people to Christ or distract people from him. 

There is a story in scripture about a young man who was very wealthy. He was rich. He was young. He was a ruler. Hence the name of the story- "The Rich Young Ruler." Basically this guy was hooked up. 

Our boy, henceforth referred to as the RYR, asks Jesus a very telling question: "How do I inherit eternal life?" Besides enlightening us to the fact that he was probably a trust fund baby it reveals something more telling. The RYR believed in Christ as the key to eternal life. He came to Jesus asking him about salvation. Reading on we see that this guy not only asked the right questions, he followed all of the laws. He was a good guy, and rich. (where my single ladies at?) 

But Jesus pressed further. The following statement from Jesus is often used by pastors and extremists used to tell Christians that in order to follow him we should sell everything we have... because that's what Jesus said.... But that's not the heart of the passage. Jesus was asking this man what he really valued. 

Jesus looked at this man and said "You believe I can give you eternal life. Good. Do you believe it enough to invest in it? How much do you really value what I have to offer?"

The RYR walked away very disheartened because his values did not match up with his belief. He came to Jesus seeking eternal life - something more valuable than anything he owned. But it became very obvious that this man did not see enough value in Christ to sacrifice his safety net. 

The question I've been asking myself lately is "does my life look like I actually value Christ?" As Christians we claim that Christ is the answer to eternal life, the hope of the world, and the only way to have peace and joy, but do our lives prove that we value that? Or do they reveal that church is cool, but we should probably not invest everything there just in case? 

Few people would buy stock in a company if they knew the CEO or employees didn't invest there. Few people will be die hard fans of a team that doesn't play like it values winning. Many people will trust in anything that someone is willing to risk everything for. 

Does my Bible collect dust, or does is look like I believe it is the word of my God? Am I engaged in my church like it's the body of Jesus Christ on earth, or do I attend it with about the same intrigue as I attend the movie every Friday? Does my spending look like my money could further the Kingdom of Heaven, or does it look like it could help me out just in case my faith doesn't?

The secret to church growth, sharing the gospel with friends, missions work, and life is finding our value in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When people see that our Savior and our church are valuable enough for us to truly invest in- without a backup plan - they will wonder and want the value that we have. When they see that we value status, stability, decor, or music genres more than our Savior or the people He wants to save they will be turned off to everything we claim. 

We claim to believe in an almighty God, where we find value will prove it.