Fall Off the Log: 4 steps to dealing with controversy

This is not another post about Phil Robertson or A&E.

To be quite frank my opinion is irrelevant. I don't know all of the details, and my blog, twitter and Facebook will do nothing but boost my ego or loose me a friend if I write something controversial about this topic. Same goes for all of us.

What this entire situation does do is force us each to do a bit of self evaluation. This is a situation in which many of us will, as one of my favorite college professors would say, "fall off the log." We'll pick a side and then argue, debate, and likely complain for a good long time.

The issue is less about which side we take and

 more about how we take that side. 

I've said before, human beings are reactionary. We're emotional, and while emotion is wonderful, it get's us into trouble. We get offended and react instead of listening, pondering, accepting criticism, and then acting. We should remember those four things.

1. Listen: A friend in college once said "you only have the right to an opinion if it's educated." This statement has nothing to do with your degree of schooling, it has everything to do with your willingness to listen. Until we know both sides of the issue we shouldn't address it. Truth is not necessarily found in the facts of the situation, sometimes it is found in the perceptions, emotions, attitudes, and preconceived notions. 

2. Ponder: My biggest weakness, we should each think before we speak. A brand new idea is usually a bad one. -not because the idea is necessarily bad, but because the first words out of our mouths are not usually the ones we'll wind up going with. 

3. Accept Criticism: Before we start a campaign we should find a few trusted friends on each side of the issue and run it by them. Accept their criticism and grow from it. Allow them to help us learn how to disagree in a loving manner. 

4. Then Act: *And only if, after all that consideration, the action is still worth taking.* We need to be people who take thought out, calculated, prayed out, action. Emotionally reacting to something is like slamming the door on your mom when you're arguing. Whether you had a good point or not you're not going to win now. Because it was disrespectful. 

**While we're on the topic of disrespect, being disrespected does not give us the right to disrespect others. Yelling matches never solve anything. 

What has made this entire scandal so outrageous is not what Phil Robertson said and not what A&E did, it is how people have reacted. This situation would be much easier, and un-clutter my news feed, if we would listen in love instead of yell. (or thoroughly read and type in all caps since most of this has taken place on the internet.) 

We're going to fall off the log on lots of issues. Let's do it well. 

Two Factors of Identity Crisis

We live in a world that has set our youth and young adults up for confusion. 

Here's how:

1. American culture is largely based on success and accomplishment. Everything about our history and our values leads us to believe that we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make something great of ourselves. From George Washington to Jackie Robinson, our heroes, some underdogs- some just determined, are men and women who have pushed the idea of excellence to a new extreme. In the same way we have given accomplishment a very strict identity, a pay grade, and to some degree a body type. 

2. Our culture teaches students to "be who they really are." As we express to our children what matters by our culture, we tell them that they don't have to be great by anyone's standards but their own. We tell them that social norms and status quo's are meant to be broken and they can be anything they want to be. In other words we tell them that their accomplishment isn't what defines them. 

We have given young people a mixes message -a paradox- so it's no surprise that many of them (us) are confused. We tell them they can be anything, that they are perfect just the way they are, then they go to school and still get made fun of because they're not athletic or overly smart, or they still don't get recognition because they aren't pursuing normal standards of excellence. This leads young people to an inevitable identity crisis, where who they want to be and what they are expected to be collides. 

This is the crisis that youth and young adult workers find themselves dealing with on a daily basis. 

This is the reason so many teens don't know who they really are.

This is why identity in Christ is the most powerful message we can teach as Christian leaders. More than ever before our peers need to know who they are and what makes them valuable. They need to know they were made in the image of God, and the God in whose image they were made died because he thinks they are that valuable. 

Hide and Seek

One of the most beautiful stories in all of scripture is found in Genesis chapter 3. Here we find a story drenched in controversy and grace with a twist not even the most astute observer would predict.

To summarize Adam and Eve had it perfect, doubted who they were made to be, chose sin, and were about to get caught. Like any mature adult would do when they're about to get caught they hide. Which is a ridiculous idea in the first place because they hide from God. It seems like a lot of work for nothing to me. They sew together leaves to make clothing and hide in some bushes so the all powerful creator won't notice that anything's wrong.

When we consider the details of the story it's a pretty odd picture. It reminds me of kids playing hide and seek. We adults have very little imagination when it comes to playing games, but kids on the other hand take the most enjoyment in the imagination. They run around the yard pretending bushes are forests and blankets are deep caves and they bury themselves, convinced that they will never be found. It would be a boring game if our parents didn't play along. No kid would have fun if dad walked into the bedroom, saw the obvious child shape under the covers, and just pulled them out. No, even though Dad knows exactly where the child is hiding there is something powerful about the seeking.

That why the story in Genesis is so beautiful. God seeks his children. He didn't need to. He wasn't lost, and they certainly weren't fooling him with their pitiful disguises, but he sought them. He called out for them. God didn't rip away the covers to expose their shame, He called to them. He asked them to come out because His first concern was his children, not their punishment. He wanted to hear their voice, not just tell them what they had done wrong. Even in his justice his primary concern was relationship with His children.

God is still seeking us. We don't have to hide, our imaginary fortresses of pride and accomplishment aren't fooling anyone. God is seeking us.

Like 19:10 "For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost."